The Grumpy Affiliate Webmaster

It just never ceases to amaze me how coincidental our sales are when it comes to the way we treat our affiliate managers.  Sometimes it seems like if we act rudely to an affiliate manager, our stats suddenly drop off.  Make a comment to that affiliate manager about the sluggish affiliate sales and *bam* we’re making sales again.

I know that in this business that there are good days, bad days….good weeks, bad weeks…and even good and bad months.  I know that there’s some statistical fluctiations to be expected, and that like snowflakes, no two days are alike.  However I’m talking more about those oddities that we see.

I recently made a deal with a casino affiliate manager to increase their exposure on my sites.  In exchange I was getting a slight increase in commissions…this is a common way to negotiate - both parties win.  They get more of my overall traffic, and I get paid for the increase.  Needless to say that after about a week our signups dropped off DRAMATICALLY.

I’ve worked with this particular casino group for almost 5 years now, and have had the same affiliate manager for over half of that time.  I tend to trust them as they were one of the biggest online casino groups a few years back, and I’ve always had good conversions and excellent player value with them.

I watched our stats slow to a crawl…suddenly we were getting about 75% fewer signups.  We were still sending the same amount (and quality) of traffic, but nobody was signing up.  I waited a while and then emailed my affiliate manager back and asked what was up…of course he said nothing was wrong and it was just the way things work out sometimes.  Fine, I can sort of accept that.  Except…

48 hours later we had our best day in over a month.  Right after I emailed (politely, as always) and asked for him to check our link, backend, account, etc…things started working again.

Needless to say, this has put them on very thin ice.  While I’ve worked with this casino group for years and I tend to trust them…my bottom line won’t wait much longer on slow signups.  Whether it’s the casino ’shaving’ our stats, or just slow signups, we won’t keep sending our traffic into oblibivion…especially when we have to wonder if something fishy is up.

So who knows.  Are we bring shafted?  Are my stats being shaved?  I don’t know, but the whole things seems too coincidental for my liking.  I’m giving them one more week…we’ll see how we feel at that point in time.

I frequent a few webmaster forums (like www.pokeraffiliatelistings.com), and it never ceases to amaze me how lazy/dumb some affiliates are when they post in public places.  There aren’t many places online where you can make good impressions on people, so you need to be on your best behaviour at all times.

Sure, there are some times when perfect spelling and grammar can fly out the window…like when you’re chatting on MSN with someone you know well and are comfortable writing stuff like, “i have to poop, be back in 10.”  But remember, if you’re posting in a place where your business contacts frequent, you need to start putting some thoughts and effort into your words.

Don’t post 3 word replies like, “yup I agree,” or, “haha.”  Yes there are some places where these kinds of replies are acceptable, but affiliate webmaster forums are not the place for posts like these.  You don’t need to run up your post count to impress other webmasters - you need to post intelligent and helpful comments.

Why Don’t You Ever Use Capital Letters, Are You Inept?  I think it’s extremely lazy to treat forum posts as if they’re MSN chat windows.  It’s akin to wearing some shitty clothes that you picked up off the floor to work….you’ll simply make a better impression on the people around you if you find something respectable to wear.  If you are too lazy to take the time to put captial letters on the words that deserve them, I’ll be inclined to think that you don’t take yourself or your business seriously and you probably won’t be around for the long run….therefore I won’t bother replying to your posts.  I’ll save my time and help for someone who shows me that they care.

All you need to do is try to spell your words properly (sure we all make misstakess), use decent sentence structure, and capitalize some letters.  Is it that tough?  I sure don’t think so.

Just try to invision the impression that you’re giving off to your potential business partners.  You just look weak and lazy, and it’s such an easy fix.

This irritates the heck out of me.  Picture this: I make a new page on one of my sites, and I currently don’t have anything to sell on there….so I go looking for a new affiliate program to join and sell their product.

Usually within hours, or sometimes within the first couple of days….bingo - a new sale with the new company!  Things are looking good.  I like this company….looks like they can convert my traffic.  The quick sale gets me motivated, even a little excited.

And then nothing for a month.  WTF?

I honestly believe that these bastard affiliate programs will give you a quick sale in order to prove their worth…to prove that they deserve your ad space on your site.  But they don’t.  I’m not dumb.  Convert on a fairly regular basis, or buh-bye.

I’ve seen this too many times to count on one hand.  Seriously.  In different industries as well.  I’ve seen it on my sites, I’ve seen it on my wife’s sites.  I’ve seen it in porn webmastering, casino/poker, ebook sales, and just about everything I’ve ever tried to affiliate with.  There’s always a company out there that’s looking to make themselves look better than their competition with a quick first sale.

If my hunch is correct and these programs are ‘throwing us a bone’ with a quick sale, they’re really just running their own program into the ground.  Considering the number of times I’ve seen this ploy, I lose trust REAL fast.  Quick sale….nothing for weeks, you’ll lose my business.  I won’t trust you.  Ever again.  If you’re able to play with the stats/sales background to that effect….who’s to say you won’t accidentally ‘lose’ an occasional affiliate commission here or there.  I KNOW THIS HAPPENS ON A REGULAR BASIS.

Just leave well enough alone.  If your product converts, great…we’ll make lots of money together.  If it doesn’t, well….I’ll kick you in the ass on your way out.  Don’t try to mess around with stats to garner a little trust, because you’re just looking like idiots.  Affiliates aren’t dumb.  Especially the good ones who’ve been around the block a few times (we recognize your shitty ploys and will be frightened off).  You’ll end up with a bunch of newbie affiliates who keep waiting for that mythical second sale.

If you want to trust a bunch of useless newbie affiliates to try to move your company forward….this is a fantastic ploy.  I wish you lots of luck with it!